Wrong Suffered At Hands (Chapter Ten)

10.

 

After three months of not attending school, Afiyah discovered that her headmaster had not stamped the certificate with the illicit participation. It was an empty threat intended to frighten Afiyah and Kainat. Since it was their final year in school, they were spared expulsion and allowed to finish their studies.

But, it was too late for Afiyah. Afiyah was informed by Hareem that her father wanted her to remain in the house unless he marries her. Her marriage was the only alternative available for her father, she assumed.

As the temperature ascended once again, gusts of wind from the north would blow, and the rain would follow after. She was elated to lastly see Talal, but just a glimpse of him because her cores absolutely smashed into pieces as she witnessed him neglecting her, paying no heed to her. As though it were her fault, she was unable to simply look into his eyes. Talal followed suit, avoiding eye contact and even extending greetings to her.

Afiyah believed that her life was on the brink since all it would take to jolt her out of her stupor and send her plummeting over the high cliff was a little prod. In the midst of the throng, greeting a male relative was equivalent to slashing someone in the rear. She began to maintain a respectful distance from everyone, especially those who may be able to inflict wounds on her that were worse than the ones she previously suffered.

She would be discovered in her room, reciting the prayers and pleading with Heavens for sympathy and redemption whilst sitting on the prayer mat. She spent the majority of her time hoping and praying on the mat, and she wouldn't fold it unless her eyes dried up from all the tears of sorrow. She wouldn't leave the mat until her heart had given up and she was at a loss for what else to ask to Allah.

But above all, she requested Allah for tolerance, perseverance that he might grant her.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"I don't get what the big issue is here; it'll just take two days." In frustration, her father eventually yelled at her. Khizar was the sole reason Afiyah had been hesitating to go to her aunt's house for her son's wedding. They were going to spend two days at Khizar's home. She couldn’t concede to stay under one roof with him, not when she was aware of his intentions towards her.

"I just… I just want to stay home.” After tackling with her subconscious, she stuttered.

“With whom? Everyone is going to go there."

She remained silent once more, unable to offer any more justifications. She was aware that her father would urge her to discuss it in public, something she could never do. She will ultimately be required to follow her father's orders.

She dropped her head and swallowed her anguish. She gave one, then two nods.

Accept it Afiyah, accept the misfortunate.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

As she peered out of the wire mesh window, her hazel eyes would linger at every separate individual dancing and thoroughly enjoying their time on the stage. She sensed her chest being thudded by the loud soundtracks, which also made it difficult for her to detect her own breathing.

Afiyah chose a plain outfit this time since she was reminded of the last time her cousin scolded her for wearing such gown. The blouse was a modest work of threads with a flowing skirt, her hair was tied in a messy bun.

She had been standing there for thirty minutes at this point, debating whether to walk outdoors or not. She was terrified to meet everyone after learning that her father had spoken to his sisters and aunts about the incident at the school. She was worried that they would label her as a debauched woman and call her obscenities.

She shifted in her spot as she paid attention to noises coming from behind her; she could hear her cousins laughing as they passed. They overlooked her, as if she didn't serve a purpose of her existence, and continued on their way. She saw as they snapped a picture and chuckled at the others' ridiculous dancing skills.

She closed her eyes and ended up taking a deep breath, deciding to finally walk out of the room. She staggered out of the room while maintaining a fake smile, attempting to crack a smile at everyone who would glance at her.

"Guess who appears like a princess tonight?" said one of her aunts as she approached Afiyah with that wide smile on her face. As her aunt adjusted her scarf and extended it across Afiyah's front, Afiyah did make an effort to smile.  

 "You look lovely tonight, so keep your scarf in front of you."

It was a decent reaction but she genuinely wondered what her aunt intended to say or do. Only returning a grin, Afiyah did so in an effort to imitate her aunt.

"Go dance, why don't you. The girls are enjoying themselves."

"No, I don't like to dance. Here, I'm good." Afiyah said as she plopped down on the chair next to her, "I'm alright here." She repeated.

Her aunt gave her a perplexed glance beforehand nodding and leaving Afiyah there. She was relieved that at least her aunt did not try and convince her because she was no longer in the mood to wrestle with her subconscious.

 

That night, when Afiyah was sipping water, her aunt stepped in the kitchen.

 "How far along are your studies?"

When she heard the query, her threw tensed. She was at a loss for words.

"I've quit my studies"

“Oh right, I know. Your father told us about the affair, so I am aware. Look, honey, this world is a horrible place, you commit once and they'll blame you twice." she said, turning to face Afiyah who stood rigid on the spot with the glass in her hand, "They will still view your nice deed as evil. I'm sad to learn that you shared a cubicle with a boy...."

“It wasn’t a boy…” Afiyah attempted to say as quickly as she could as if she was running on fumes, “It was a girl, not a boy. Additionally, we were locked from the outside."

"Was it a girl?" Her aunt appeared startled, her already wide eyes bawling out of her sockets "Are you..?"

“No.” She prompted, "Never. There has been a misunderstanding. Nothing happened in such manner."

Afiyah, on the other hand, found it hard to imagine her aunt was going to inquire about her sexual orientations. She can never be into girls because she isn't a queer.

She loves Hassan, after all.

"I beg you, Auntie. Ask Papa Jan to let me study. I won't be able to tolerate it if he marries me, so please ask him not to. I'll have a lot of complications if I get married too soon. Please.” She begged, the misery she was suppressing showing on her twisted face.

“Okay.” Her aunt replied, "I will. Be at ease. I'll speak with him." 

Afiyah didn't feel even a little bit of optimism from her smile since she could see that it was a false attempt on her part. She was too familiar with that smile.

Afiyah immediately regretted talking to her auntie when she left the kitchen since she knew that pleading with her wouldn't be effective. Even though she had a daughter of her own, she was aware that she could never assist her; she could never assist someone else's daughter.

 

The place was shrouded in mist, but a blast of wind was sweeping the mist away like a sly maneuver. She had the impression that she was standing on a floating cloud because of how delicate and flimsy her feet felt. She remained focused despite the tenacious strands of her hair falling over her face caused by the blow of wind. She peered at the shadow, a towering silhouette that seemed more of an ink droplet spreading across the roughness of the page. To adequately see the imposing silhouette, she needed to squint.

It was him, standing there. Far away from her, he stood there. Despite having a plain demeanor, he appeared melancholy. His dark eyes peering back at her. She stared into those eyes, her stomach twisting into knots.

Hassan.

She made an attempt to shout out, but her voice was muffled. She tried it again, calling his name, but it was of no avail. Her throat felt as though it had been squeezed by a strap around her neck, preventing her from attempting to voice. She saw as Hassan's figure vanished into the obscurity.

She wanted to cry and scream his name, but every time she tried, her stomach ached.

 

 

“Wake up already.”

The breath wailed back into her lungs as she gasped. She opened her eyes and the face came into her view.

As soon as Talal leaned over her, she retreated; her fear was comparable to seeing a grim reaper.

"Are you okay? And why are you sleeping here when you may get sick?

Afiyah glanced about her and noticed that she had actually cried herself to sleep on the bench outdoors. Her neck ached from the prolonged amount of time she had been resting her head on the bench, and her limbs ached where she had lazily slumped over the bench.

“Talal?”

“Yes. Are you alright? You're pale and appear frightened."

Without any other thoughts lingering into her mind, she grasped Talal’s forearms, “Sit, please. Please sit down."

Talal was taken aback when Afiyah pressed her head into the crook of his neck and broke down. He was unsure of how to handle an unexpectedly tearful Afiyah. He made an effort not to breathe as she sobbed. She cried until a dull ache appeared in the back of her throat.

"You know you may share?"

"It's pointless, I'm sorry." she sniffed. She chuckled hesitantly when she saw Talal’s drenched shirt, “Oh, I’m sorry. I'm so stupid."

"Afiyah, are you all right?"

 

"Leave Talal, someone could see us." she said, nodding and scanning the area to see if anybody was around, "Please leave."

"Tell me what happened first, and I'll leave."

"I'm sorry Talal, I can't. I can't stand another catastrophe, no more troubles." she attempted to explain whilst sucking in a deep breath, "Please go; I'm too loaded to handle problems anymore."

Talal appeared helpless when he stood up with a nod. "I wish I could explain everything to you openly, I have a burden on my chest but...I might leave now." Before he went, she overheard him say. He took a step back from Afiyah with his eyes still riveted on her.

Afiyah watched him disappeared through the door leading to the lounge. She sniffled, trying to contain her emotions while wiping her shawl against her nose.

 

Afiyah's sentiments at that time apparently were difficult to put into words because her mind would wander down the face that was staring back at her through the mist. She struggled to balance her emotions of glee from meeting Talal and grief after witnessing a glimpse of Hassan in her dreams. Closing her eyes didn't help since every time she did, she could clearly picture Hassan's face beyond her eyelids like a vivid dream. She wanted to fade away into that mist after him, she wanted to run up to him, wanted to hold him. She was looking for the comfortable familiarity in those arms. But she noticed him edging away from her.

Since the interaction, Talal has changed; now, he tended to pass encouraging smiles towards her. He would have quick verbal conversations with her, from "Hey" through "Bye." However, it was enough to give Afiyah a brief feeling of comfort.

 

Furthermore, Afiyah wasn't blind to the unpleasant glances Khizar would steal from his fiancé. They would sit across from one another and shoot scathing glances. She couldn't believe Khizar had touched her and even forcibly kissed her; the thought of him interacting with her made her feel repulsed.

Because of him, she despised herself and felt as though she had been thrown into the trash tank.